


I Could Kill You

by warlock_female



Series: Batman Bingo 2020 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Batman Bingo, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Harvey Dent cares even if he doesn't want to, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I love the dork squad ok, Jonathan Crane cares even if he doesn't want to, M/M, No beta I die like a comic book hero, Not Beta Read, The Shovel Talk, Threats of Violence, batman bingo 2020, tags updated as i go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23583412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warlock_female/pseuds/warlock_female
Summary: Neither Bruce nor Edward's friends believe the other is good enough.
Relationships: Edward Nygma/Bruce Wayne
Series: Batman Bingo 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697611
Comments: 15
Kudos: 93





	I Could Kill You

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at writing in a while. Doing Batman Bingo and NaNo camp at the same time so hopefully I don't implode again. In my mind this is set in the Batman TAS and Batman Adventure comics universe.

_“I could kill you.”_

Edward felt the gun against the back of his head before the voice growled out the threat at him. He doesn’t think that anything done recently has stepped on Two Face’s toes, nor did his time as the Riddler never go in the way of the mob. But then again who knew what strange quirk of fate might make a madman with a coin decide to shoot Edward? Perhaps it had crossed the man’s brain that he could and the coin had turned up tails.

“Looks like you could.” Even voice. Don’t let the taller man see how Edward’s eyes were searching for a weapon. Even if the greatest one Edward ever needed was his own brain. 

“If you keep this plan up and hurt him.” The gun presses hard causing the confused man to lean forward until his nose is almost touching his desk. “Batman might find you but that would take hours.” Harder against the skull “Leave Bruce alone.”

Edward bursts into hysterical laughter because of course only his life could end up so insane.

*

“I could kill you.” Bruce pretends to shrink back in fear at the cold, calm tone and man sitting behind the desk. Inside he seethes at the fact that Crane managed to get inside of the building and into Bruce’s office without anyone noticing. Concerning but luckily it seemed as though Crane was much more interested in threatening then actually doing anything at the moment.

“I-is this a threat?” Brucie is out in full force as Bruce takes a seat on the chair that hides away a tranquilizer gun. “I mean I have a lot of money but-”

“Money! Money money money! Is that all you imbeciles ever think about?” Crane’s voice was rising with each word. “However did you manage to trick Edward into falling for you?”

“Now Mr. Cr-”

“He isn’t as smart as he believes that he is, but he is clever.”

“I don’t really think-”

“Though even clever people are tricked by a pretty face.” Bruce hid his amusement as the other man took a look at Bruce’s face and sniffed in disdain. “I have studied you Mr. Wayne. And while I do know that relationships tend to end in tears. If you hurt him **we** will find you.” We was concerning, it meant that somebody else might attempt to break into the office or the manor. 

“Great!” Bruce clapped his hands together and smiled his best dumb rich kid smile hoping that somebody else wasn’t going to pop out of the side door to give their own speech. Edward was going to have a field day as soon as he found out just how easily Bruce had been ambushed. In his own office. “I’m so glad that Eddie has friends!”

It was worth it to listen to the sound of Jonathan Crane’s head hitting the desk in despair. 

**

Somehow laughing hadn’t gotten Edward shot, though from the look on the other man’s face (faces?) when Edward turned around it had been a close thing. “Let me get this straight. You think that I’m going to do something to my handsome, rich, caring boyfriend? For what? More money?” Maybe once it would have been to get back at Batman, but Harvey didn’t know about that.

“I know you. I know Bruce. He’s a great guy and he’s not as dumb as everyone seems to think. But he’s not the type to sit and play chess for hours.” Edward snorted before he could help himself. Bruce played chess, just with Gotham as the pieces. “You think you’re so smart. Are you going to tell me that the Riddler is going to be happy with someone like that?”

Edward gave off his sunniest smile, dipping his voice into a coo. “Well I have always enjoyed an attentive audience to my superior intellect.” 

“Oh god.” Two Face rolled his eyes as he pocketed the gun. “That explains so much.”

**

“Yes Edward has friends.” The last word is spat out as something distasteful. “One of us whom was not opposed to having you merrily stroll off a bridge if the need arises.” The smile is sharp. “Or perhaps we could just use a hat to keep Edward happy.” Ah that explained how the break-in had been managed. Jervis knew the layout and could have easily used his devices to get the new codes for the doors. 

Bruce gave off his best Brucie laugh and chipper voice, he hoped it bugged Crane as much as it bugged him. “Oh I hope Edward stays happy as well! We have plans to expand the library just for his books you know! He also loves the parties we go to, I swear every time we go the crowd around him grows!”

“Oh god. That explains so much.”


End file.
